沙彌尼近廉 講於2012年7月17日星期二晚  萬佛城大殿  A talk give by Shramanerika Jin Lian on July 17 (Tuesday), 2012 at Buddha Hall of CTTB

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諸佛菩薩，宣公上人，各位法師，各位善知識，阿彌陀佛。今晚輪到沙彌尼近廉和大衆結法緣。如果在我的報告中有什麽不如法的地方，請諸位慈悲指正。

Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, the Venerable Master, all DMs, and all good advisors, Amitabha, tonight is novice nun Jin Lian’s turn to tie Dharma affinities with the assembly. In my report, if there is anything not according with the Dharma, I invite your compassionate correction.

很難得，這次講法被安排在暑假裏。沒有了前一陣的緊張和忙碌，離開學又還有一段日子，可以說現在真是一段很可貴的忙裏偷閒，修身養心的好時光。唯一的遺憾就是，天氣好熱。一到下午，整個人就處於待機狀態，很多大好的時間，都在昏沉中度過。想想也真是可惜。如果上人看到的話，也一定會訓斥說，你真是朽木不可彫啊，不好好修行，整天混吃等死。

Hard to get this opportunity to speak in the summer; without the tension and hard work  and the new semester is still on its way, I would like to say now is really a valuable leisure time for all, a good time for us to nourish body and mind. My only regret is that the weather is too hot. Every afternoon, my whole body is in the standby mode; a lot of time, spent in a stupor.  It is quite a pity. If the Master saw me like this, he would have scolded me like this: you are a piece of really useless rotten wood. You could not cultivate well and for the whole day long only wanting to eat your fill and waiting to die.

個人學佛的時間很短，加頭加尾也不過六年。初初學佛，也不知道什麽才叫修行。其實到現在，修行這個名詞對個人而言，依然是一件霧裏看花，水中撈月的事情。記得曾經看過一個小故事，故事裏有一條小魚對大魚說：「我常常聼別人講海的事情，但是，什麽是海呢？」大魚說：「你周圍就是海呀！」小魚很驚訝的說：「那我為什麽看不到？」大魚說：「海在你裏面，也在你外面，你生於海，也終歸於海， 海包圍著你，就像你自己的身體。」

My personal practice of BD is quite short, including everything together, only six years at most. At the very beginning of my practice, I totally had no idea of what is the meaning of cultivation. Actually, until now, cultivating is still a technical term that I really could not figure it out.  My practice is just like looking at a beautiful flower in the fog or trying to get the moon in water. There is a story, I remember, a little fish asks the big fish: “I often hear others say things about the sea, but what is sea?” Big fish, says: “around you is the sea.” Little Fish is very surprised and says: “Then why I cannot see it?” The big fish, says: “sea is inside you, but also outside you, you were born in the sea, after all, you will die in the sea, the sea around you, like your own body.”

經常覺得自己就像是那一條在海裡找海的小魚。找得很辛苦，找得很無奈，找得很顛倒，找得很無助，找得已經失去了方向。修行對個人而言也是一樣。到底什麽才是修行呢？初初搬進廟裏生活，一切都很新鮮，下決心一定要好好修行。所以法師就安排我每天都在廚房幫忙，就這樣幫了好幾個月，突然有一天自己問自己，這就是修行嗎？想想不對啊，我是來學佛的，怎麽好像變成學廚了呢？整天和一群婆婆媽媽，白菜蘿蔔搞在一起，這難道是修行嗎？越想越不對，就找到一位和自己一起工作的善知識向她訴苦。

Often feels that I am just like that little sea-fish looking for the sea. She is trying so hard, so frustrated, so inverted, so helpless, almost lost her goal. My practice is as same as the pursuit of the little fish. All After all what is cultivation?  When I first moved into the temple, everything was fresh; I made a solid resolve to cultivate well. So DM assigned me to help in the kitchen in a daily base, I worked there for several months. One day I suddenly asked yourself: is this your cultivation? I did not think so. I came to study the Buddhism, why now it seemed that I came to study cooking? Working with grannies and aunties, everyday engaging with cabbage and radish, is that really my practice? The more thoughts I brought forth, the worse I felt about myself. Finally, I decided to find some DM to complain.

誰知她給我的第一句話就是：「做廚房也是修行啊，現在的年輕人就是好高騖遠，特別是你們這些讀書人，心高氣傲，做廚房就是要讓你們學會放下身段，從零學起。看看你在廚房裏做事，橫衝直撞的；看看你切的菜，大大小小的；看看你炒的菜，拉裏邋遢的，就知道你真是菜鳥，沒有修行……。」就這樣，差不多被念了大半天。最後她說：「寒山、拾得，還有很多高僧大德都是從廚房裏修行出來的。要修行就踏踏實實地做好每一件事，一切從廚房開始。」那個時候，很多佛學名詞都不懂，很多高僧大德都不知道，所以也是聼得丈二和尚摸不着頭腦，不過有一件事是明確的：修行就要放下一切，從零開始。

Totally beyond my expectation, what she gave me the first sentence was: “kitchen work is also cultivation, now days young people are very ambitious, especially those who received some kind of high education, your guys’ mind are always filled up arrogance. Working in the kitchen is helping you to learn how to cast away your self-satisfaction, and flip a new leaf for your future cultivation. Looking at your work in the kitchen, bumping and rushing all the time; looking at the vegetable you cut, no piece is in a good shape; looking at the dish you cook, messy all around, I know you are a rookie, no cultivation at all. ..” In this way, it took me almost whole afternoon to listen to her complaint about me. Finally, she said: “Han Shan, Shi De and lots of virtuous and eminent cultivators, their glories started from kitchen. You resolve to cultivate, then you have to learn to do everything mindfully, let your practice from the kitchen.” At that time, many Buddhist terms I did not understand, a lot of virtuous and eminent cultivators’ names I was not familiar, so what her words did not mean much to me. However, there is one thing quite clear: It is essential to put down everything, and start from a new scratch in cultivation.

那，什麼才是修行呢？依然不明白。看了，很多古來的高僧大德的書，他們的答案差不多都一樣。就像是上人講的，行住坐臥，吃飯，穿衣，甚至是打嗝放屁都是修行。就看你會不會。他們講的很玄，個人聼得很暈。故事畢竟是故事，高人究竟是高人，個人無法把他們的故事和自己的生活聯繫起來。但大大概概也知道修行不容易，修行要從細微處入手。

Well, then what is cultivation? Still not understand. Have read a lot of the books on those virtuous and eminent monks’ cultivation and comments on practice, their answers are pretty much the same, like the VM’s words: walking, standing, sitting, retiring, eating, dressing, and even burping and farting is practice. See if you could recognize it or not. All those words are wondrous and mysterious; however, they only made me even more confused. Stories, after all, are the stories; virtuous and eminent cultivators are indeed virtuous and eminent, but I could not put myself into their shoes. Anyway, I know cultivating is not a easy thing, and it should be started from some minor things.

最喜歡聼的還是上人講的那個《性如灰》的故事。想想那位修行了二十多年「性如灰」的老修行也是挺有修行的，被菩薩故意考成那樣，才最終爆發，如果是換作個人的話，沒兩次大概是要發脾氣了，弄不好還要出手趕人呢。想想自己也真是沒有修行啊。不管是念佛，念咒，坐禪如果不能把自己的壞脾氣改掉，那不管修行多少年也稱不上是真修行啊！

My favorite story is the VM’s “nature as ash”. I think that old cultivator who spent twenty years to practice the dharma door of “nature as ash” really obtained some skills; otherwise he could not pass so many tests that deliberately set by the Bodhisattva, even though he finally exploded. If it were me, probably no more than 2 rounds I would have lost my temper, or even wanted to be violent. I really have no cultivation at all. Whatever dharma door we choose to practice, reciting Buddhas’names, reciting mantras, or Chan meditation if we could not change our bad temper then no matter how long we practice, we are still not a true cultivator.

覺得最可憐的就是那位被整個國家的人民潑髒水，最後被逼得發毒願的忍辱仙人了。有時會想，為什麽他不選擇離開那個國家呢？以他的修行應該不難吧。為什麽事情一而再，再而三的發生，他不選擇離開，如果走了， 那就不會有那樣可悲的下場了嗎？為什麽不走？對於那片土地的留戀，也許才是他最終就犯的原因吧。如果不革除自己的執著，那也稱不上是真修行啊！

The most miserable cultivator, I feel, is the immortal who was poured dirty water by the whole country and finally he vowed to kill the whole villagers. Sometimes I think, why did he not choose to leave that country? Due to his practice, leaving should not be a difficult thing to him. Why, when things happened again and again to him, he did not choose to leave?  If he fled away, then probably everything would be different. Why choose to stay? Maybe the nostalgia of the land is the reason that made the immortal eventually committed. If we do not get rid of our attachment, we would be called a true practitioner.

曾經有一位叱吒沙場的將軍在家中把玩一件他最心愛的古董杯子。突然一不小心杯子從他手中滑落，就在杯子落地前的一刹那，他一下子把它接住。終於是虛驚一場。回想起剛才那驚險的一幕，將軍依然是冷汗直流。他想，他馳騁沙場那麽多年，打了那麽多仗，在生死中走了那麽多會都不曾這樣怕過。為什麽，現在為了這麽一個小小的杯子讓他有了怕的感覺？是啊，雖然在沙場上，和生死作戰，但是他從來沒有執著過他自己的 生死，所以他活著。現在他有了這件古董，有了他的愛，有了執著，就那小小的事故，就讓他嚇得魂飛魄散。就在將軍悟出這個道理的時候， 他鬆開了捧著杯子的手。杯子掉到了地上，碎了。而這位將軍也重新變成了一位真正的常勝將軍。想想這位將軍可以講是有點修行吧。在修行的過程中，我們要革除的是無始的習氣，它們就像是我們的血肉一樣，已經沒有辦法分清彼此了。要革除它們，才是修行啊。

Once upon a time, there was a very famous general who was playing with his favorite antique cup. Suddenly the cup fell off from his hands, as soon as the cup fell down to the floor, he caught it. Recalling what happened, just that thrilling scene, the general was still sweating. He thought, for so many years, fighting in so many battles, death and live was so familiar to him, he never ever felt frightened. But why this time, for such a small cup, he felt the feeling of fright? Yes, on the battlefield, fighting for life and death, he had never been persistent over his own life and death, so he was a successful general. But now he had this antique, his favorite cup, he had his attachment, so even such a little accident; let him scared out of his wits. When the genera l realized this truth, he loosed the hands that still holding the cup, the cup fell onto the ground, broken. From then on, the general had no more attachment and he was never defeated by anyone else. That general got some skill in his practice. In our cultivation, what we want to cut off is our bad habitual behavior that generated from countless eons ago. They are so strong that we also think they are just like our blood and fresh that could not be separated. However, if we do not eradicate them, we are not truly cultivating.

小的時候，老師告訴我們，古時候有志氣的人不受嗟來之食。一直不明白，那樣愚蠢的人，為什麽還有那麽多人在讚賞他。留得青山在，不愁沒材燒。與其餓死，不如就吃嗟來之食，就算是修忍辱行也可以啊。伯夷、叔齊的作爲更是不能理解。真是不爭饅頭，爭口氣，最後把自己餓死了。以前的我不能理解那些賢士的作爲，但是，現在好像開始明白，如果，一個人，終於能夠放下他自己的一切，靈與肉完全抛開，完全按照他的真心行事的話，那真是有修行啊！

When I was little, my teacher told me in ancient time, sage people would not take the food that not properly offered to them. They would like to starve to death but not taking that food.  I could not understand this kind of behavior. And I also do not understand why there were so many people praising that kind of attitude. Life is the most important thing in the world, right? Why choose to starve to death? Eat the food and live on is a better choice, isn’t that right? Be tolerate with other people’s rudeness is also cultivation, why not choose be patient? Later on, I read the story of Bo Yi, and Shu Ji. I really could not agree with their thoughts. They are the most ridiculous and stubborn men I ever heard of. Because of others’ criticize, they choose to starve to death in deep mountain. If that is the true behavior of sages, then I would like to be an ordinary person.  But now, after studying the BD, I gradually understand their thought.  If a person could truly put down everything， put down his own birth and death, separating his spirit and body, only do what is should be done, that is true cultivation.

什麽是修行，怎樣才算修行，慢慢地捉摸，慢慢地思考，慢慢地體驗，慢慢地成長，相信，找海的小魚，終於有 一天能真正找到他自己的大海。

What is cultivation? What is true practice? Gradually fathoming them, pondering on them, experiencing them bit by bit, and growing up little by little, I believe the little sea-fish could eventually find his own sea.

問: 你一開始提到剛做廚房，切的菜大大小小、長長短短，不知道你現在切菜，切得如何？

In the very beginning of your report, you mentioned that when you first study cooking, the vegetable you cut no piece is in a good shape, how about now?

答: 其實我不會做廚房，所有廚房的事都是我搬進廟上才學的。我切的菜，如果那天心情好，菜就切得好； 如果心情不好，菜就切得不好。你可以從菜的形狀看到我的修行還是很不穩定的……

Actually, I do not have any idea of how to do any kind of work in kitchen. So what I learned everything is from the temple. If that day I have a good mood, then the vegetable I cut will be good; if that day I do not have good mood, then the vegetable I cut will be bad. From the form you can tell my cultivation is not stable…