王一丹居士2024年10月11日晚間講於萬佛聖城大殿
All Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master Hua, all Dharma masters and Good and Wise advisors, Amituofo.
諸佛菩薩，上人，各位法師，各位善知識，大家晚上好！
My name is Yidan Wang and I am from Shanghai. In the blink of an eye, I am now in my second year at Dharma Realm Buddhist University (DRBU), and this year marks the beginning of my master’s studies. For the first time in my life, I was taken to the “little black room” at the customs office because they thought I was suspicious for quitting my job to return to school here. When I entered the small ‘dark’ room, the customs officer inspected my passport, and the silence made me feel afraid. I thought, “Am I about to be deported and sent back on the next flight?” I quickly pulled my thoughts back to “Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva” and began silently reciting. After a long time, the officer said, “Ms. Wang, I have some questions for you.” I thought, “Great, here comes my chance. I’ll answer truthfully and be myself.”
我叫王一丹，來自上海。轉眼間，我已經在聖城法界佛教大學（法大）第二個年頭了，今年開啟了第一年的碩士學習，在入境海關的時候，人生中第一次被帶去 ”小黑屋”，因為海關覺得我非常可疑，竟然辭去工作繼續讀書。進入了小黑屋，海關官員檢查我的護照，安靜的氣氛讓我感到害怕，我心想：”我是不是被遣送，坐下一班飛機回去了？” 我馬上把思緒拉回到了「南無觀世音菩薩。” 我默默念著，過了很久，海關官員說：”Ms Wang（王女士）, 我有問題問你。” 我心想：太好了，機會來了，我只要真實回答做自己便可。
He asked, “You’ve already graduated (from DRBU translation program). Why are you coming back to study (at DRBU MA program) again?” I replied, “I am here to embark on a journey of self-discovery, to understand myself better.” He then asked, “What do you plan to do after you graduate?” I answered, “I will continue teaching.” He looked puzzled and asked, “Then what’s the point of studying?” I replied, “The better I understand myself, the better teacher I will be and the more children I can influence. Wherever the teacher is at is where the students are at.” I continued, “I am getting older, and it’s time for me to starting self-exploration.” He looked at me and said, “Wow, Ms. Wang, I hope you have a great study in the U.S. You are free to leave and please exit here.” I smiled, thanked him and left. I planted some seeds in the customs officer for sure. A seed that we can begin the journey of self-exploration at any age, it’s never too late. When my good friend picked me up, I shared this experience with her, and she laughed and said, “That was the Buddha and Bodhisattvas giving you an intention check!”
他問：”妳已經（從法大翻譯班）畢業了，爲什麽還要回來（法大碩士班）讀書？” 我回答：”我來開啓一段認識自己的旅程，更瞭解自己。” 海關官員又繼續問：“那你畢業之後，準備做什麽？”我説：“繼續教書。” 他納悶的看著我說：“那何必讀書？” 我回答到：“當我更瞭解自己，我可做更加好的更有影響力的老師，老師到哪裏，學生們就到哪裏了。” 我繼續說：“我歲數慢慢在增長，需要開啓瞭解自己的旅程了。”他看看了我說：「Wow! Ms. Wang (哇！王女士)，希望你能在美國學習順利，你可以離開了，請從這裏出去。” 我微笑著説了“感謝！”離開了。我在海關官員心裏種下一顆種子，一顆無論什麽年齡都可以開啓自我探索的種子，永遠不會太遲。當我的好友來接我時，我和她分享這段經歷，她笑著和我説：”那是佛菩薩在對妳這次心靈之旅的‘初發心考驗’。”
DRBU studies brought me back to explore myself more, which was as I said earlier the intention check “Why am I coming back again?” from the Customs officer. In the class on the Platform Sutra, we were reading the second chapter on Prajna, and during the study, I made an interesting discovery. Prajna wisdom cannot be prepared. It is like singing or writing not to impress or to approve, sing and write because you just feel inspired and moved at that moment. This ‘prajna cannot be prepared’ in Platform Sutra class led me to a moment when I was in Cloud Mountain this July participating a ground-breaking ceremony which became my reference point of ‘prajna cannot be prepared’.
法界佛教大學的學習讓我重新開始更多地探索自己，這就像我之前提到的海關官員的‘初發心考驗’：“我為什麼又回來了？”在《六祖壇經》的課上，我們讀到般若品第二，在學習過程中我有了一個有趣的發現：般若智慧是無法準備的。唱歌寫作不是為了讓別人留下深刻的印象，或是得到認可，而是因為在那一刻你深深的被啟發、受感動。所以，在課上我對般若無法準備的領悟，讓我想起了今（2024）年七月，在雲居山參加奠基儀式，這成了我的一個參照點。
The story was: In China this summer, I attended the groundbreaking ceremony for the “1000 People International Chan Hall” at Cloud Mountain True Suchness Monastery where was Great Master Xuyun’s last stop. During the ceremony, we symbolically scooped sand to mark the beginning this auspiciousness. When it was my turn, I released the sand from my palm and made a wish: “I wish to be the bridge between East and West, to provide the opportunity for westerners to experience authentic, thousand years Chan.” When the ceremony was ended, about 20 Abbots from all over China walked back to their dorm in a line. Suddenly, they stopped and discussed among themselves: “How could we start an International Chan Hall without ‘起’ (qi, In traditional Chan session, we start with 起qi meaning raising, the beginning)?” I observed them from a distance, when they stopped I felt this freedom, spontaneity from these Chan Masters. Then they harmoniously chanted 起qi, and as soon as it was uttered, I felt a stream of warmth flowing through my heart to my body. I was in tears, filled with hope to be that bridge between East and West. Qi sound lasted for a while and when it was over, maybe about to be over. Without thinking, I used all my whole body strength to reply back 起qi amidst the crowd of 1000 people. Moments later, the entire crowd started to chant 起qi together. It was as if that moment was a mirror of the future for 1000 People International Chan Hall—adorned and wonderful. When it was over, a Dharma Master who knew me turned around with surprise and excitement and said, “Yidan, you know, you caught the word 起qi; you have bright future.”
故事是這樣的：今年夏天，我在中國參加雲居山真如禪寺組織的“千人國際禪堂”奠基儀式，真如禪寺是虛老最後的駐錫之地。儀式中，我們象徵性地用鏟子鏟起砂，標誌著這一嶄新的開始。當輪到我時，我將砂子從掌心放下，並許了一個願：“我希望成為東西方之間的橋樑，為西方人提供機會，體驗真實的、有著千年歷史的禪。”當儀式結束時，大約20位來自全中國各地的方丈排著隊走回他們的住處。突然，他們停下來，彼此討論：“我們怎麼能在沒有 ‘起’（傳統禪七在起七時，大眾高聲吟誦的字）情況下開始一個國際禪堂呢？” 我遠遠地看著他們，當他們停下來時，我感受著這些禪師的自在和瀟灑。然後，他們齊聲和諧的唱起了 ’起’。剛一唱出，我就感到一股暖流穿過我的心到達全身。我淚流滿面，心中充滿了希望，願成為那座東西方的橋樑。「起」的聲音持續了一段時間，當 ’起’ 聲結束之際，或者即將結束時，我沒有多想，用盡全身的力量在上千人中大聲回應了 ’起’。片刻之後，在場的人們開始一起高唱 ’起’。那一刻彷彿是一面未來的鏡子，映照出千人國際禪堂的莊嚴與美好。儀式結束後，一位原認識我的法師轉過身，驚訝且激動地對我說：”一丹，你知道嗎？你妥妥的接住了這個 ’起’，你有前途。”
I reflected upon why it was me who caught 起qi among 1000 people. How did I do it? While at Cloud Mountain, I realized it was the year at CTTB which empowered me and opened up my heart, providing me with more spontaneity and created space in the heart to myself and surroundings. When I read the Sixth Patriarch’s Sutra in MA class. I realized that a pure mind could catch it, not the analytical mind asking, “Am I eligible to respond to Qi? Who am I to respond?” At that moment, my intention was pure—I wished to be the bridge between east and west. That was a moment of ‘prajna cannot be prepared’, I felt very grateful for the year (the school year 2023-2024) I spent in CTTB and also be able to continue studying and learning here.
聽完後我反思，為什麼在1000人中是我接住了 “起”？我是如何做到的？在雲居山的時候，我意識到正是我在萬佛城這一年的修行，賦予了我力量，打開了我的心，讓我的心更加自在，為自己和周圍創造了空間，心的空間，給這一瞬間。當我在碩士課上讀《六祖壇經》時，我明白了清淨心能夠接住 ”起”，而不是分析的心在問：”我有資格回應’起’嗎？我是誰來回應這個起？” 在那一刻，我的初發心清淨——我希望成為東西方的橋樑。那就是「般若無法準備」的瞬間故事，我非常感恩在萬佛城的這一年（2023-2024學年度），也感恩能夠在這裡繼續學習和成長。
October CEI four boundless hearts gave me an opportunity to pause, put a stop on time. I hung “Noble Silence” on my T-shirt, renounced my phone. During these four days in silence, at breakfast, I slowed down, tasted the berry in a way that I had never tasted before — crunchy yet soft, sour with sweetness filled my palate. At lunch I slowed down, chewing not shuffling food while talking. I had a sense of “I have enough, it’s time to stop. Greed, I see you.” After lunch I slowed down, walking back with mindfulness. Each step, each touch from my feet to the earth with kindness and compassion. “No rush, Yidan!” Listen, listen deeply to the joy.
去年十月的法大實修週 ”四無量心” 給了我一個暫停的機會，讓時間停止一會兒吧。我在T恤上掛上了 ”止語牌”，上交了手機。在這四天的止語中，早餐時，我放慢了腳步，以一種前所未有的方式品味了樹莓——既脆又軟，酸中帶甜，充滿了我的味蕾。午餐時，我放慢了腳步，細嚼慢嚥，而不是一邊說話一邊匆匆吃飯。我聽到了自己的 ”我已經飽了，該停了，貪欲，我看到了你。” 午餐後，我放慢了腳步，正念走回宿舍。每一步，每次腳與大地的接觸都充滿了善意和慈悲。”別急，一丹！” 傾聽，深深地傾聽那份喜悅。
During CEI, my mind was shifted by one of the wise teacher’s instructions. I remembered he pulled a singing bowl out, pointed at the space in the bowl and said: “sometimes we think these empty spaces are wasted.” Then he gradually put in a clock, 2 pens, a notebook, and a water bottle into the singing bowl, he rang the bowl. I heard the “Clack,” unpleasant short sound with no vibration or echo. He struck the bowl again. “Clack.” Then he slowly pulled out the water bottle, notebook, pens and clock until nothing was left in the singing bowl. Stream of tears came out when the teacher took out things one by one, as if my worries, discontentment, self judgements, endless afflictions were being emptied out. He struck the singing bowl again, and the sound permeated the air throughout the universe, echoing back, the echo was so clear and resonant lasted for a very long time. Wow, that moment I realized my heart is like this singing bowl, my heart had space again, spaciousness, to contain new things. When it is filled up with no space, there is no echo, unable to resonate with the universe. Gradually, as we create more and more space, I became more capable of embracing and containing. When I interact with others, my heart is often full worrying about future or regretting the past, making it impossible to listen to others deeply, impossible to give myself fully at that moment, and unable to feel or resonate. This is because the inner world is cluttered, filled with unhappiness, worries, and self-judgment. By emptying out and creating the space allow me to listen to others more deeply and understand our own vibration or energy Qi can affect those around us. This singing bowl experience shifted the way I interact with myself and others.
在實修週期間，一位老師的教導啟發了我。記得他拿出一個頌缽，指著缽內的空間說：”有時候我們認為這些空的空間沒被塞滿很浪費。”然後他逐漸在缽裡放入一個鐘、兩支筆、一本筆記本和一個水瓶。他敲了敲缽，“哢嗒”一聲，亞啞，短促不悅耳，沒有震動或迴響。他又敲了一下，還是“哢嗒”。接著他慢慢地將水瓶、筆記本、筆和鐘一個個取出，直到缽裡什麼也沒剩下。當老師逐件取出這些物品時，我哭了淚水不斷湧出，彷彿我的憂慮、不滿、自我評判和無盡的煩惱被一點點拿了出來，清空。他再敲了一次缽，聲音在空氣中迴盪，穿透了整個宇宙，回聲清晰、悠長，持續了很久。
那一刻，我意識到我的心就如同這個頌缽，我的心再次有了空間，寬廣而能夠容納新的事物。當心中沒有空間時，就沒有迴響，無法與宇宙產生共鳴。逐漸地，隨著我創造更多的空間，我變得更加能夠容納包容。當我與他人交流時，常常因為心塞得太滿，焦慮著未來或後悔著過去而無法深入傾聽，無法在那個時刻全身心投入，也無法感受或產生共鳴。這是因為內心被填滿了，被不快樂、憂慮、和自我評判填滿了。通過清空創造出空間時，能夠讓我更深入地傾聽他人，也理解自身的能量和氣場可以影響周圍的人。這個頌缽的體驗讓我有了新的我與自己和他人互動的方式。
A poem I wrote after CEI which I turned into a song
Metta loving kindness is welcoming smile
Karuna compassion is deep listening
Mudita simplicity joy is rejoicing celebration
Upekka equanimity is clarity and seeing ‘as it is’
Brahmavihara sublime abiding
If I give each of them a colour
Metta is noon bright yellow
Karuna is dusk reddish green
Mudita is dawn pinkish violet
Upekka is moon dark blue
Four boundless hearts
As background tone
Spaciousness in the heart
The resonation permeates
Vibrates boundlessly
Throughout the universe
Acceptance towards self and others
Just like this
As it is
Let the nature takes its own course
Realized is not what I have gained today
It is what I have let go today
The simplicity joy mudita
The joy of being awake
Every moment is anew
‘Stand in the heart of the moment
Inner stability’ (from Eve Decker)
I have my own story to write
A story about
Metta Karuna mudita and upekka
Loving kindness compassion
Simplicity joy and equanimity
一首我在法大實修週寫的詩，把它創作成了一首歌：
慈 是歡迎的微笑
悲 是深深的傾聽
喜 是隨喜的慶祝
捨 是清澈的看見
“如其所是”
四無量心 無量的安住
如果給它們每個賦予一種顏色
慈是正午明亮的黃色
悲是黃昏帶點紅的綠色
喜是黎明泛著粉色的紫羅蘭
捨則是月光般的深藍色
四無量心，作為背景基調
心中的寬廣無垠
共鳴 彌漫四方
無盡的
遍佈整個宇宙
對自己和他人接納 無條件的
就這樣
如其所是
順其自然
所領悟到的
不是今天我得到了什麼
而是今天我放下了什麼
那簡樸的喜悅——隨喜
是醒來的喜悅
每一刻都是嶄新的
“站立於當下的中心
內在穩定”
我有自己的故事要寫
一個關於
慈悲喜捨的故事
After these few months of studying and self-exploration, I realized it is not “sutra is sutra and my practice is my practice”. Sutras need to be lived and embodied, interweave them into day-to-day moment to moment living. Live the text, let the teaching be part of me. Two and half month’s studies let me understand: professors gave guidance to clarity and unfold the texts, discussion with cohort members gave me more profound understanding of the readings. Readings are widening my perspective shift my way of seeing things, going closer to sutra gave me an opportunity to explore it and apply to my daily life. Writing is to put my aha moments, reflections and inspirational thoughts together.
經過這幾個月的學習和自我探索，我意識到經典不僅僅是經典，我的修行也不僅僅是修行。經典是要活出來並融入生活的，要把它們交織在日常生活的每個當下。活出經典，讓它成為我的一部分。學習讓我明白了：教授們的指導幫助我清晰地解讀經典，和同學們的討論讓我對閱讀有了更深刻的理解。閱讀拓寬了我的視角，改變了我看待事物的方式，更接近經典讓我有機會去探索並將其應用於我的日常生活。寫作是將我當下的感悟、反思和靈感彙集在一起。
I remembered in SC retreat this June, one of the professors told us a story. One day, Venerable Master Hua was asking all of them，what is the essence of Buddhism? Some of them said: “Samadhi” others said “wisdom, prajna”, some said: “Precepts.” Master Hua shook his head again and again. One of the youngest disciples asked with curiosity: “Shifu, what is it then? please tell me.” Master Hua replied patiently: “Change.” The essence is change. To change, to transform. Every moment is a new moment, change is renewal, renaissance and repentance. Change accompanied with openness to vulnerability, out of the comfort zone, pain, I guess it is called growing pain. I live in the world that constructed and created. I take full responsibility for my actions; I am the heir of my action.
我記得在今年六月的善財中心禪修時，一位教授給我們講了一個故事。有一天，宣公上人問他們：“佛教的本質是什麼?” 有些人說：”是禪定。” 另一些人說：”是智慧，般若。”還有人說：”是戒律。” 上人不斷地搖頭。最年輕的弟子好奇地問：”師父，那到底是什麼呢？”上人耐心地回答：”是改變。” 是改變，改變即是轉化。每一刻都是一個新的時刻，改變是更新、是新生、是懺悔。改變伴隨著對內心脆弱的接受、走出舒適圈、經歷困苦，我想這就是所謂的成長的困苦吧。我們生活在一個由自己構建和創造的世界裡，我為我的行為負全部責任，因為我是我的行為的繼承者。
Transformation is slowly emerging every second without knowing while I am in CTTB, like the little Qi story I shared just now, the magic CTTB cast. Like a keyhole, city of ten thousand Buddhas opens up ten thousand worlds, provides ten thousand dharma doors accordingly with skillful means. The future is unknown, it could be scary and fearsome, but it where infinite possibilities and potential lie, where beauty abides, where transformation awaits.
轉化正在悄然發生，每一秒都在變化，而我身在萬佛城時並未察覺，就像我剛剛分享的小‘起’的故事一樣，這就是萬佛城的神奇。就像一個鑰匙孔，萬佛城為我打開了通向萬千世界的大門，提供了無數個法門，並運用善巧方便教導指引我。未來是未知的，它可能會令人心生恐懼，但正是這個未知才有無限的可能性和潛力存在。 充滿了希望美好，也充滿了轉變的可能。
A friend from DRBU asked me: “How do I want to live my life?” How do I? My answer is Live a life of self-exploration, like Buddha’s quest. CTTB has taught me how to love, how to accept, how to see good within, to rejoice and hope for the best for others. Broaden my heart to see the world with new lens.
一位來自法界大學的朋友曾問我：”你想怎樣過你的人生？” 我想了想，我的答案是：”過一種自我探索的人生，像佛陀一樣。” 萬佛城教會了我如何去愛、去接納、去看到內在的善、如何隨喜、他人的快樂即是我的快樂、同體大悲、打開格局，用更寬廣的心，以及新的視野，來看待這個世界。