沙彌尼近蔚2024年8月29日講於萬佛聖城大殿
諸佛菩薩，宣公上人，尊敬的法師們，法友們，阿彌陀佛！今天輪到沙彌尼近蔚與大家結法緣。首先要感謝法師給我這個機會來與大家分享和學習。今晚，我將分享過去的一年中在華嚴精舍的學習心得。 因爲出家不久，心得與理解有限。有說得不如法之處，請大家指正。感恩。
Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, respected Dharma masters, and Dharma friends, Amituofo.
Tonight it’s shramanerika Jinwei’s turn to tight Dharma affinity with everyone. First of all, I would like to thank Dharma Master for giving me this opportunity. I will share my learning experience at Avatamsaka Vihara in the past year. Since I have just left home-life, my experience and understanding are very limited. If there is anything I’ve said that is not in accord with Dharma, please correct me. Thank you.
第一個分享的是伸過柵欄的桑枝。
一個星期一，我見法師推着進來一大根的樹枝。一小時後，看見她的工作枱上整整齊齊地擺着一堆樹葉，一堆約10英寸的樹枝，和3個碗。我湊過去看了看，原來是桑樹枝。3個碗內裝着桑椹。1碗是成熟的，黑黑的;一碗是快成熟的，紅紅的。一碗白白的，還較生。我有兩個疑問：1.精舍有桑椹樹嗎？2.爲什麼摘些生的桑椹，能做什麼？當然，我沒有問法師，而是留給自己找答案。第二天早上，趁着在後院鍛煉的機會，我在後院找到了一株桑樹。它長在華嚴精舍的柵欄外，但整棵樹的樹枝都在華嚴精舍的這邊。樹枝上長了許多黑黑的桑椹。爲什麼法師不摘這些成熟的桑椹呢？我又在華嚴精舍前院停車場找到了另一株更高大的。也長在華嚴精舍的柵欄外。但許多的枝幹都延伸到了華嚴精舍的停車場上。在美國，根據有關樹的法律，您有權修剪延伸到您的財產線的樹枝。午供時，法師給我那碗成熟的桑椹去供佛。午齋時食用。
The first experience I want to share with you is called “mulberry branches stretching over the fence”.
One Monday, I saw the Dharma Master pushing in a large branch. An hour later, I saw a pile of leaves, a pile of tree sticks each about 10 inches long, and three bowls neatly arranged on her work-table. I leaned over and took a look. It turned out to be a mulberry branch. There are mulberries in 3 bowls: 1 bowl of ripe, black mulberries; 1 bowl of almost ripe, red mulberries, and another bowl of white mulberries. I had two questions in my mind: 1. Are there mulberry trees in the monastery? 2. Why did Dharma Master pick some raw mulberries and what’s the use of them? I did not ask Dharma Master, but left it to myself. The next morning, taking the opportunity to exercise in the backyard, I found a mulberry tree there. It grows outside the fence of Avatamsaka Vihara, but most of the branches are on this side. There are many black mulberries growing on the branches. Why didn’t Dharma Master pick these ripe mulberries? I found another taller one in the AV’s front yard parking lot, also growing outside the Avatamsaka Vihara’s fence. But many branches extend to the Avatamsaka Vihara’s parking lot. In the United States, by the tree law, you have the legal right to prune tree branches that extend into your property line. Before the meal offering, Dharma Master gave me a bowl of ripe mulberries to offer to the Buddha. We had them during lunch.
第二天，我跑步時經過桑樹下，發現地上有許多完整的桑椹又大又熟。太可惜了吧。於是，我找了個容器，把好的撿了起來，洗乾淨晾乾。午齋時，我告訴法師我在地上撿的，已經洗乾淨，是否能放在取食臺？法師說她是不會吃的，因爲不知道何時掉下來的，也不知是否有動物碰過。但是我可以問廚房的執事，是否能放在取食枱供大家食用？於是，我問了廚房的執事法師。她同意了。我很高興地擺上去，並在午齋時吃了很多。第三天早上，我經過桑樹下，看見小鳥和松鼠在樹上享用桑椹，再看看地上，許多各種顏色和樣子的螞蟻在忙碌地搬運桑椹。哦，原來掉在地上的，並不會浪費。我有點慚愧，自己居然吃了小螞蟻的食物。
The next day, I passed under the mulberry tree while running and found many complete [whole], big and ripe mulberries on the ground. What a waste. So, I found a container, picked up the good ones, washed them and dried them. During lunch, I told the Dharma Master that I picked those up on the ground and I already cleaned them. Is it OK to have them at lunch? The Dharma Master said that she would not eat it because she did not know when it fell or whether an animal had touched it. However, [she said] I could ask the kitchen manager if it could be placed on the serving table. So, I asked and the kitchen manager agreed. I happily ate most of them during lunch. On the morning of the third day, I passed under a mulberry tree and saw birds and squirrels enjoying mulberries on the tree. Looking at the ground, I saw many ants of various colors and shapes busy carrying mulberries. Oh, it turned out that what fell on the ground was not wasted. I was a little ashamed that I actually ate the food of the little ants.
法師當天做飯，午飯時，又有一碗桑椹。原來那碗原本紅紅的桑椹已經放熟了。第四天，還是法師做飯，她煮了一碗甜甜酸酸的白色的醬。非常好吃。洗碗時，問了法師才知道，原來是桑椹醬。用那碗白色的桑椹做的。我在心中讚嘆法師對桑椹的巧妙處理。不過，我的第二個問題“爲什麼要那些生的桑椹”還有一半沒有答案。
The Dharma Master cooked on that day, and she provided a bowl of mulberries for lunch. That bowl of red mulberries were ripe now. On the fourth day, Dharma Master cooked a bowl of sweet and sour white sauce. It’s very delicious. I could not figure out the ingredient of the white sauce, so I asked Dharma Master and found out that it was mulberry sauce, made from that bowl of white mulberries. I admired the master’s wise handling of the mulberries. Half of my second question remains unanswered. So I asked the Dharma Master.
於是我請教法師。法師說，因爲桑枝太低，星期日大衆開車來共修，停車時桑枝會刮到車頂。所以她修剪了樹枝。爲了物盡其用，不浪費，桑葉、桑枝曬乾，以後可以煮水喝。我這才明白，原來，法師並不是爲了食用桑椹，藥用桑葉和桑枝。而是爲了莊嚴道場，方便大衆才修剪桑枝的。
The Dharma Master said that because the mulberry branches are too low, when the laity drive to the Sunday sessions, the mulberry branches will scrape the roofs of their cars. So she pruned the branches. In order to make the best use of everything and avoid wasting it, mulberry leaves and mulberry branches are dried in the sun and can be boiled and drunk later. Only then did I understand that Dharma Master trimmed the mulberry tree branches for adorning the Way-place and the convenience of the public, and not for taking them as food or medicine.
雖然出家了，但我還是在使用在家時的思考方式看待問題。我想起來法師在給我上課時，反覆告訴我，一定要在沙彌尼階段，轉變思維方式。出家與在家看待與處理事情是不同的。你一定要改呀。但到底不同在那兒？我缺乏智慧，不能自己在日常中觀察到。這天晚上，我無意中在華嚴精舍的圖書館翻看到廣欽老和尚的開示錄，一本只有32頁的小薄本，隨手一翻：“出家爲求解脫–在最基本的日常生活中去修–於衣食住香味觸法中不起貪念。”我茅塞頓開。這就是出家與在家思維方式的不同之一。我用的貪心去看桑枝，著在了食與味法上，所以想到的是吃桑椹，用桑葉、桑枝做藥。想到的是利益自己。被食、被香法所轉。而法師是在日常生活中修不起貪心，一心爲道場，爲信衆。轉食、轉味法。
Although I left home-life, I still use my old way of thinking to look at problems. I began to understand why Dharma Master told me repeatedly when she lectured me on precept classes that I must change my way of thinking during the novice stage. The way one thinks about things after leaving home-life is supposed to be different from how one thinks about things as a laity. You must make this change. But what’s the difference? I lack the wisdom to observe the differences in my daily life by myself. That night, I happened to see a book called “the teachings of Venerable Guangqin” in the Avatamsaka Vihara’s library. It was a small book with only thirty-two pages. I flipped through it and one line entered my eye: “Leave home-life to seek liberation. Cultivate in one’s daily life. Don’t be greedy for food, clothing, housing, fragrance, and the Dharma.” Suddenly I saw some light. This is one of the differences in the way of thinking between monastic and layperson. I looked at the mulberry branches with greed, so I thought of eating mulberries and using mulberry leaves and mulberry branches to make medicine. What comes to mind is to benefit myself. And I was turned (moved) by the food and taste. However, Dharma Master is cultivating not having greedy thought in her daily life [and focusing on the monastery and the sincere attendees]. And she “turns” (is not moved by) the food and taste.
廣欽老和尚在這一點上說得很清楚：“出家人要把俗家一切習慣放下，否則出家以後還在貪瞋癡內打轉，會走入邪道。”“出家人做事情與在家人不同，即所用的心不同，思想不同。在家人做事是爲了賺錢。(出家人做事是與道相合。否則，看起來和在家人一樣，都是爲了三餐做事情。)”
Venerable master Guangqin made it very clear: “Monastics should let go of all the habits of lay people, otherwise they will still attach to greed, anger, and delusion after leaving home-life, and will go down an evil path.” “Monastics do things differently from lay people, that is, the intention is different, the way of thinking is different. The ordinary people do things for the sake of making money. (The monastics do things in accordance with the Way. Otherwise, both are doing things just for the sake of the daily three meals.)”
引用《沙彌學處》中的一段：古德所謂，「熟處轉生、生處轉熟」，正是要在觀念、習性與行為上，逐漸而徹底地，將一個初出家的人，由原來世間的五欲自在、放任率性、愚癡貢高和剛愎自用等，改為知足少欲、進退有度、三業嚴謹和調柔謙下，也唯有如此，他才能真正與「出離心」相應。而有了出離的清淨念，才能在未來長期的修道生活中，面對境界的考驗與衝擊時，不迷惑、不顛倒。再者，有了調柔心，才能在漫長的修道摸索中，隨時準備接受來自善知識、同參、外境，乃至自我的勸導、反省與修正。
Quoting a passage from “the Practice of Novice”: The high monks from the past said, “Turn the unfamiliar way into familiar way, and turn the familiar way into unfamiliar way” is precisely to gradually and thoroughly transform a novice on his views, habits and behaviors from the five desires, indulgence, ignorance, etc. to contentment, advance and retreat with moderation, carefully taking care of body, mouth, and mind karma, and the gentleness and humility. Only in this way can he truly correspond to the “renunciation mind.” Only with the pure thoughts of renunciation can he face the tests in the long-term monastic life in the future without confusion. Furthermore, with a gentle heart, one can be ready to accept persuasion, self-reflection and correction from good teachers, fellow cultivators, external states, and even from oneself during the long journey of cultivation.
法師常常說，上人那時 教他們，處理事情時，看看身邊有什麼，就想辦法用這些來把事情處理好。不需要額外再去找什麼買什麼，那樣消耗太大。法師對桑枝、桑椹的處理應該就是一個很好的例子。她是如何把上人的教導運用在日常生活中的。不光是物力不要因爲有就隨意消耗，就是人力也一樣。法師只要自己能做的，絕不麻煩居士。而常常勸告信衆在爲廟上幫忙的同時，一定要把家庭先照顧好。讓家人歡喜而對佛教升起信心。
The Dharma Master often said that the Venerable master taught them at that time that when dealing with things, look at what is around you and think of ways to utilize them and fulfill your task. There is no need to search far or to buy, as that would consume too much resources. The Dharma Master had set a good example for me to understand the Venerable master’s teachings and how she applies them in her daily life. It’s not just the material (resources), but also human power, and Dharma Master seldom asks them [to do things]. Anything that she can work by herself, she will not ask help from the laity. And she often told them to take good care of their families so that the family members will be happy and have faith in Buddhism.
真認自己錯
剛到時，每次法師指正我，我都習慣性的向她做解釋。她都會馬上回應：“你很喜歡狡辯。”然後我就著在“狡辯”這個詞上不能繼續思維而接受她的指正。《漢典》上“狡辯”，指詭辯；把無理的事説得似乎很有理；用虚假掩埋真相把無理的事情説得很有道理。我覺得很委屈。1.我這沒有無理，也沒有虛假。2.我解釋的目的也只是爲了讓您們了解而得到理解。再看解釋與狡辯的差別：解釋，就是把模糊的事物清楚化，並且條理分析，使他人有明確的概念。狡辯，就是把清楚的事物模糊化，顧左右而言他、避重就輕，使他人有誤導的可能。過了一段時間，法師見點不醒我，就在狡辯之後，接着說：“你一辯解，言下之意就是你沒有錯。所以到現在都還改不過來。”因爲我還處在被指責“狡辯”的委屈中，所以法師說得這麼白了，我還是有聽沒到。
The second experience I want to share with you is to truly recognize my own faults. Venerable Master often taught the disciples that cultivators should “truly recognize one’s own faults.” When I first came to Avatamsaka Vihara, every time Dharma Master corrected me, I habitually explained to her. She would immediately respond: “You like to quibble.” Then I got stuck with the word “quibble” and could not continue thinking about it and accept her correction. In Chinese dictionary, the explanation of word “狡辯” is to make unreasonable things seem reasonable; or to cover up the truth with lies. I felt aggrieved. 1. I am not unreasonable. 2. The purpose of my explanation is just to let them understand and be understood. Let’s take a look at the difference between explanation and quibble: explanation is to clarify things and analyze them in a coherent manner so that others can have a clear concept. Quibble is to obscure clear things, to ignore others, to avoid the important, so that others may be misled. After a while, Dharma Master noticed that I did not make any change. One day, a similar situation happened, I was about to explain my reasoning, she continued: “When you made an excuse for yourself, the implication was that you were not wrong. That’s why you still can’t fix this problem.” Because I was stuck with the word “quibbles” and felt I was wronged, so even though Dharma Master said it in a plain manner, I still didn’t hear what she said. One day, a similar situation happened again.
有一天，類似的境界又出現了。我剛要解釋。法師馬上看着我說：“你很喜歡解釋，很喜歡解釋讓我們了解你的想法。”我當下就愣住了。然後就笑了。沒有“狡辯”執着了，法師的話就入了我的大腦。我居然就領悟了法師所說的“你爲什麼要解釋？就是你不認爲你錯了。如果你承認自己錯了，你就會說:‘我錯了，對不起。’什麼解釋也不需要。如果你都不認爲自己錯了，你怎麼會改呢？”
One day, a similar situation happened again. I was just about to explain. The Dharma Master immediately looked at me and said, “You like to explain very much, and you like to explain so that we can understand your thoughts.” I was stunned. Then I smiled. There is no longer the “quibble” to hold on to, Dharma Master’s reasoning was understood, “Why do you want to explain? It’s because you don’t think you are wrong. If you admit that you are wrong, you will say I’m sorry, I am wrong. If you don’t believe that you are wrong, how can you make a change?”
對呀。我這解釋背後的動機就是不認自己錯嘛。也就是說，我這樣做是有道理的，是因爲這些原因。這次之後，法師指正時，我都會欣然接受。例如“下雨了，你忘記關窗了。”如果是以前，我會說“法師，剛才很悶熱，所以我沒關。”現在我會說“哦，對不起，我忘了。馬上關。”開始去除辯解的習慣，身心漸漸安穩踏實。人也簡單了。不過累劫的習氣，不易改。還需努力。感恩法師善巧地幫助我看到了自己的心。
That’s right. The motivation behind the explanation is to NOT admit my own fault. After this incident, whenever Dharma Master corrects me, I will gladly accept it. For example, “It’s raining, you forgot to close the window.” Like before, I would say “Oh, you know, it was so hot, so I didn’t close the window.” But now, I would answer: “I’m sorry, I forgot. I’ll do it now.” I began to get rid of the habit of excuses, and I saw the change of myself: my body and mind gradually settled and became calm, stable and much simpler. However, habits that accumulated in eons cannot be easily changed. I am still working on it. I am grateful to Dharma Master for her help in guiding me to observe my own mind.
最後，我想用八個字與大家共勉，那就是：感恩，懺悔，念佛，迴向。
Finally, I would like to conclude today’s talk with the following words: be grateful, repent, recite the Buddha’s name, and transfer merit and virtue to all. Thank you! Amituofo.