顧美娜居士2024年8月23日晚講於萬佛城大殿

Good evening all Dharma masters, Dharma teachers, Dharma advisors, and Dharma friends: My name is Meina Co. Tonight I will be speaking about my encounter with Buddhism. However, before I do that I want to say that I am not articulate and also not good at public speaking. This is my second time speaking in front of a large group of people. Therefore, I would like to apologize in advance if I have spoken inappropriately and or if what I say offends anyone.

諸位法師、及法友，大家晚上好：

我叫顧美娜。今晚我將分享我與佛教的相遇經歷。然而，在此之前，我想先說明，我的口才並不好，也不擅長公開演講。這是我第二次在這麼多人面前發言。因此，如果我說了不妥的話，或者有不如法的話，我先向大家道歉。

I am Chinese but grew up in the United States. Before encountering Dharma I didn’t know or care to know what Buddhism is or what a Buddhist is. I heard of the word ‘Amitabha’ but don’t know what that is. I know Namo Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara as someone whom I can ask for help when I am in trouble. This is the extent of my awareness of anything Buddhist.

我是在美國長大的華裔。在接觸佛法之前，我對佛教是什麼或佛教徒是什麼並不了解，也不在意。我聽過「阿彌陀佛」這個詞，但不知道那是什麼。我知道觀世音菩薩是我遇到困難時可以請求幫助的對象。這就是我對佛教的所有認識。

I lost my father in 2014 and my mother in 2016. After my parents passed away I felt depressed and lost in life. I was frustrated with the ways things were in my life and the constant struggle of living in general. I started to question what is the point of all of this after having personally experienced the agony of losing loved ones.

2014年我失去了父親，2016年失去了母親。在父母過世後，我感到沮喪，對生活感到困惑。   我對生活的種種困境和不斷的掙扎感到挫敗。在經歷了失去親人的痛苦之後，我開始質疑這一切的意義。

Even though I have a big family who played a big role in helping me take care of my parents, mentally, physically, and spiritually I was really drained from caring for both of my parents before they passed away. Seeing my exhaustion, one of my nieces suggested that perhaps it might be good for me to do meditation. Being depressed and lost I just wanted to have some space for myself to decompress.

儘管我有一個大家庭，在照顧我父母的過程中扮演了重要角色，但在父母去世之前，我在心理、身體和精神上都感到極度疲憊。看到我的疲憊，其中一個姪女建議我嘗試打坐。由於感到憂鬱和迷茫，我只想找個地方讓自己放鬆一下。

So I decided to give meditation a try not knowing what it was really about. The only type of meditation I am familiar with was the five-minute one which is part of a yoga class. I didn’t know what Chan meditation was. Hence, I proceeded with the idea of meditation and googled it online.

於是，我決定嘗試打坐，雖然我並不知道這到底是什麼。唯一熟悉的打坐是瑜珈課中的五分鐘打坐。我不知道禪宗打坐是什麼。於是，我透過谷歌搜尋了打坐的相關資訊。

Of all the links that came through the search, two links to two different organizations seemed promising. One was Deer Park Monastery in San Diego and the other was the City of Ten Thousand Buddha. I once saw a documentary about Deer Park Monastery but never heard of the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. However, I chose CTTB because, frankly speaking, the room and board was cheaper than at Deer Park.

在搜尋結果中，有兩個看起來很有希望的組織連結出現了。其中一個是位於聖地牙哥的鹿苑寺，另一個是萬佛城。我曾看過關於鹿苑寺的紀錄片，但從未聽過萬佛城。然而，我選擇了萬佛城，坦白說，因為這裡的食宿費用比鹿苑寺便宜。

It was November when I called CTTB to register for the Thanksgiving Chan session and attended it. I thought the session was kind of short. So when I found out about CTTB’s 3 week Winter Chan session I immediately signed up for it. Due to wanting to stay at CTTB longer I also signed up for the Amitabha session.

在11月時，我打電話給萬佛城報名了感恩節禪三，並參加了這個禪三。我覺得禪三有點短。 當我得知萬佛城有為期三週的冬季禪七時，我立刻報名參加了。由於想在萬佛城待得更久，  我還報名了佛七。

I want to say my first official experience of CTTB was when I attended the Winter Chan sessions and the Amitabha Session back to back. I found that I really enjoyed learning about and practicing Chan.

我第一次正式體驗萬佛城是參加了佛七和冬季三週禪七。我發現我真的很喜歡學禪和修禪。

One night I went to the Patriarch Hall where all the free books were and picked up a book thinking to read it for company. That book which I picked up turned out to be the English version of the Shurangama Sutra. I must say the Surangama Sutra is the first sutra that I actually picked up with my own hands and actually read it voluntarily.

有一天晚上，我去了祖師殿，在那裡所有的書籍都是結緣品。我拿了一本書，想著讀一讀。這本書竟然是《楞嚴經》的英文版。我必須說，《楞嚴經》是我第一次親自拿起並主動閱讀的佛經。

The more I read this sutra the more intriguing it became even though I had no clue what Master Hua was commenting about. Everyday or rather every night I would look forward to reading this sutra.

我越讀這部佛經，越覺得它很吸引人，儘管我不明白上人所講的內容。每天晚上，我都期待著閱讀這部佛經。

Being able to spend time at CTTB doing Chan was very therapeutic for me. I loved it and was thinking of coming back for the next Winter Chan in the following year. Throughout this entire experience I felt very grateful to Master Hua for having established such a wonderful place for lost people like me to take refuge and I wanted to repay Master Hua’s kindness.

在萬佛城參加禪修對我來說非常有療癒作用。我很喜歡這種感覺，想著明年冬天再回來。在整個經歷中，我對上人創造了這樣一個美好的地方感到非常感激，我想要回報上人的恩德。

As the days for me to leave CTTB were approaching, I looked for ways to somehow stay longer or come back soon. One day I was thrilled to discover that CTTB published their own books and magazines. I am a graphic designer who designs printed matter. So I offered my graphic design service by volunteering to help with designing layouts for books and magazines.

在離開萬佛城的日子臨近時，我尋找各種方法，希望能留下來或盡快回來。有一天，我很高興地發現萬佛城出版書籍和雜誌。我是一個電腦圖像設計師，專注於印刷設計。因此，我擔任義工，協助書籍和雜誌的排版。

I was very happy for this opportunity because it allowed me to continue to stay at CTTB while utilizing my skill set for the magazine. During my time here as a volunteer, a Dharma Master introduced me to a book called One Hundred Dharmas. I was so enthralled by the content of that book. I looked forward to reading it every night before going to bed.

我很高興能有這個機會，因為它讓我能夠繼續留在萬佛城，同時也能運用我的技能為雜誌排版。在擔任義工期間，一位法師向我介紹了《百法明門論》這本書。我對這本書的內容感到非常著迷。每天晚上，我都期待著閱讀它。

After that book I started to look for other texts to read. I remember carrying the Diamond Sutra in my backpack with me at all times for a few weeks hoping to have a pocket of free moments to read a sentence or two from that Sutra. I also attended a few of Professor Doug Powers’ evening and afternoon community classes.

讀完這本書後，我開始尋找其他的經典。我記得有幾個星期，我總是把《金剛經》放在背包裡，希望能在空閒時讀一兩句。我也參加了幾次鮑果勒教授的晚間和下午社區課程。

 I remember in one of those classes I heard a laity say something to the effect of ‘you are reciting when you are not reciting. You are not reciting when you are reciting’. I thought that statement was so profound that it made me want to continue to attend these classes.

我記得在其中一堂課上，我聽到一個在家居士說了類似「你在念誦時不是在念誦，你不念誦時卻是在念誦」這樣的話。我覺得這句話非常深刻，讓我想繼續參加這些課程。

By that time I was hooked on learning more about Dharma. Therefore, a few days later in another one of Professor Power’s classes, the class was passing out books titled The Six Perfections. When I saw that book, in spite of not really knowing anything other than the text description that was on the front pages of the book, I felt so joyful to have crossed paths with that text.

到那時，我對學習佛法產生了濃厚的興趣。因此，幾天後，在另一堂鮑果勒教授的課上，發放了《六度波羅蜜》的書。當我看到這本書時，儘管我對此書的認識只限於扉頁上的文字描述，但能和此書結緣，我還是感到非常高興。

I felt like I found something that I had been looking for. I wanted to get my hands on that text. I was determined to do all that I can to learn everything I can about the Six Paramitas. I didn’t know where, when, or how this was going to happen but I had to find a way to make it happen.

我覺得找到了長久以來一直在尋找的東西，我想要獲得這本書，並決定盡我所能學習關於六度的所有內容。我不知道這將在何時、何地、如何發生，但我必須找到辦法實現它。

Luckily, a few days later someone I worked with told me DRBU was looking for students. I wasted no time in applying for the university.

幸運的是，幾天後，有人告訴我法界佛教大學正在招收學生。我立刻申請了這所大學。

Now, prior to this sudden development of my insatiable appetite for the Dharma, having lived at CTTB as a volunteer for a few months I once heard that the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas has a university called Dharma Realm Buddhist University. But I never really paid attention to it because I thought it was not for me.

在我對佛法突然非常渴求，感覺無法滿足之前，我已在萬佛城當了幾個月的義工。雖然曾經聽說過法界佛教大學，但我從未真正關注過，因為覺得這不適合我。

I thought that at my age I would never ever go back to school, leave alone study Buddhism of all things; especially with the circumstances in my life. Boy, did that thought vanish quickly after I saw that Six Perfections text.

我曾經認為自己年紀這麼大了，絕對不會再回到學校，更不用說學習佛法了，尤其是在我當時的生活環境下。然而，當我看到《六度波羅蜜》時，這個想法很快就消失了。

Hence, I must say that my encounter with the Six Paramitas was what prompted me to apply for DRBU’s master program; it was what prompted me to become a student again, at my age, studying Buddhism of all things, in spite of the conditions I was facing in my life at that time.

因此，我必須說，與《六度波羅蜜》相遇是促使我申請法大碩士課程的原因；它促使我再次成為學生，學習佛法，儘管當時我面臨的條件很艱難。

The application process was so swift that the next thing I knew I was sitting in my very first official Dharma class with my amazing Dharma Professors and amazing cohorts. I felt extremely blessed and still feel extremely blessed to be able to learn Dharma surrounded by such a Dharma supportive environment and be connected to such an inspired and devoted Dharma community.

申請過程非常迅速，不久我就坐在了我第一堂正式的佛法課上，與我的優秀佛法教授和同學們一起。我感到非常幸運，能夠在這樣一個護持佛法的環境中學習，並置身於富有啟發性又虔誠的佛教大家庭裡。

I feel very fortunate to have taken all the classes that I had taken at DRBU. All the classes were amazing. Needless to say, I appreciate all the discourses and loved every single minute of my time at DRBU.

我感到非常幸運，能夠在法大修完所有的課程。所有的課程都非常精彩。無需多說，我非常喜歡所有的課堂討論，享受了在法大的每一分鐘。

Every sutra and sastra text I have studied or encountered throughout this program is like a door to a stupendously phenomenal dimension. The more I learn about the Shurangama Sutra, the Samdhinirmocana Sutra, the Yogacara, and all the other texts, the more confusion I get but the more I love it and want to delve deep into it.

我在法大碩士班學習或遇到的每一部經，都像是通往非凡維度的大門。我對《楞嚴經》、《解深密經》、唯識、以及其他所有經典的學習越多，感到的困惑越多，但我也越加熱愛，並希望深入探究。

Being a newbie to Buddhism, everything about this subject was so new yet invigorating to me. I felt like I was reborn as a person. Even though the learning curve was steep for me, I feel like I have learned so much and in turn have grown from these teachings both spiritually and pragmatically as a human being. To use a familiar description from sutra text, I feel like I have lucked out and have arrived upon a ‘mountain of jewels’.

作為一個佛教初學者，所有關於佛教的點點滴滴對我來說都是如此新鮮且令人振奮。我感到自己像是重生了。儘管學習過程對我來說很陡峭，但我感到自己學到了很多，並從這些教義中，在精神上和實際生活中都獲得了成長。用經典的描述來說，我覺得自己幸運地找到了一座「 寶山」。

I tried my best to pick up as many jewels as my capabilities permit. One of the jewels I was determined to ascertain is the Six Paramitas. I guess that would be six jewels and not just one. Yes, I consider myself very lucky to be able to learn more about the Six Paramitas.

我盡我所能地去拾取盡可能多的寶貝。其中一個我決心要得到的寶貝就是六度波羅蜜。我想這將是六顆寶貝，而不僅僅是一顆。是的，我認為自己非常幸運，能夠學習更多關於六度波羅蜜的知識。

To discover how the 12 links of dependent origination serve as both the underlying habitual algorithmic pattern and path that ushers us into our perpetual samsaric existence was deeply insightful for me. It is so enlightening to uncover the mechanism and function of the eight consciousnesses and how they dominate the driver’s seat in our minds and in turn our lives.

發現十二因緣如何讓我們在六道輪迴頭出頭沒的模式和路徑，對我來說是極具啟發性的。揭示八識的機制和功能以及八識如何主導我們的思想，進而影響我們的生活，真是非常啟發人心。

I found that the understanding of the 3 natures, —that is the imaginary nature, dependent nature, and the perfect nature— unveils the mystery of nonduality also known as the Middle Way. The unsurpassed profundity of the doctrine of nonduality is utterly ineffable. I used to get frustrated when people tell me that everything is empty without explaining why it is empty. But now that I have come to understand the ultimate meaning of emptiness from the lens of Buddhism and cultivation I contemplate and rejoice whenever I come across the word ‘emptiness’.

我發現對三性——即遍計所執性、依他起性、圓成實性——的理解解開了不二論，又稱中道之謎。  中道的無比深奧是難以言喻的。我曾對人們說一切皆空但沒有解釋為何空感到沮喪。但現在，  我從佛教和修行的角度理解了「空」的終極意義，我對「空」這個字充滿了思考和喜悅。

I reflect on what I have learned; that is, emptiness is not about nothingness. Our inherent or fundamental nature is not empty yet it is also not non-empty. “There is no ‘is’ and there is no ‘is not’” is one of the favorite lines I have come across amongst the sutra and sastra texts I have studied. The discovery of the jewel of non-duality is an immeasurable gift of inspiration, joy, and peace. It bestows the sense that ‘everything is ok,’ using the words of Master Hua.

我反思我所學到的，空並非什麼也沒有。我們的固有或根本性質既非空也非非空。 「無『有』無『沒有』」是我在所學經論中最喜歡的句子之一。發現不二論的寶貝是無量的靈感、喜悅與祥和的禮物。用上人的話來說，它賦予了「怎樣都很好」的感覺。

By now I am certain you have sensed my enthusiasm for studying sutras. Studying Dharma texts is extremely important for me, but I realized that studying alone is not enough for my cultivation to progress. I know I must strive to instill in me the teachings I have learned from the Buddha. As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

現在，我相信你們已經感受到我對學習經典的熱情。學習佛教經典對我來說非常重要，但我意識到光是學習還不足以讓我修行進步。我知道我必須努力將從佛陀那裡學到的教義融入自己的生活中。正如俗話所說，行動勝於言語。

With that said, one of the most important things I’ve learned at DRBU is about taking vows. This is a topic that I fear the most because since childhood I was taught not to make promises I can’t keep. However, in order to keep my cultivation moving forward I know I must get over this fear of mine. So I took the plunge. A few years back I took the five precepts then a few weeks ago I took the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts.

話雖如此，我在法大學到的最重要的一件事就是發願。這是一個我最害怕的主題，因為從小我就被教導不要做不能實現的承諾。然而，為了讓我的修行繼續向前發展，我知道我必須克服這個恐懼。因此，我勇敢地做出了決定。幾年前，我受了五戒，幾週前我受了在家菩薩戒。

Before I speak briefly about my experience with the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Transmission, I want to sincerely express my appreciation to each and everyone who were involved in helping to make the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Transmission a success. I am grateful to all the Great Buddhas, Great Bodhisattvas, Master Hua and the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas for having set the Dharma foundation to allow for this transmission to take place.

在我簡要談談我對在家菩薩戒傳授的經驗之前，我想衷心地感謝護持在家菩薩戒傳授圓滿的每一個人。我感激諸佛菩薩、上人和萬佛城，感恩您們為這次傳授奠定了佛法的基礎。

I am grateful to each and everyone in the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Committee for organizing this event. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication in making sure that the event occurred without a hitch. Grateful to all Dharma teachers and the respective Dharma master translators for taking the time and effort to bring some clarity. I am grateful to the entire Guest Perfect staff for helping with room and board. I am grateful to everyone in the kitchen team for the delicious food.

我感謝在家菩薩戒委員會的每一位成員，感謝你們舉辦了這次的傳戒。感謝你們的辛勤工作和奉獻，確保傳戒的順利進行。感謝所有的授課法師和翻譯法師們，感謝你們付出時間和精力帶來清晰的解釋。我感謝所有的知客組工作人員，感謝你們安排食宿。感謝廚房團隊提供的美味食物。

Last but not least, I am grateful to the covid team for doing such a wonderful job in mitigating the covid situation. I must admit, before receiving the notification from the Lay Bodhisattva Precept Committee about self-covid testing being required upon arriving at CTTB, I was worried about participating in this event mainly due to covid. I was relieved to learn that CTTB requires all participants in the event to be tested for covid. I was impressed at the level of measures the covid team had put forth in ensuring that each and everyone is tested multiple times to minimize the spread of the virus. Great job covid team!

最後但同樣重要的是，我感謝疫情防控團隊在減少疫情影響方面所做的出色工作。我必須承認，在收到在家菩薩戒委員會通知需要到達萬佛城後自測新冠的要求之前，我主要擔心的是新冠對這次傳戒的影響。得知萬佛城要求所有戒子都進行新冠檢測後， 我感到如釋重負。我對疫情防控團隊所採取的多次檢測措施，以避免病毒傳播的努力印象深刻。疫情防控團隊，你們做得非常好！

Now a brief note on my Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Transmission experience. One of the things that left a deep impression on me throughout the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Transmission was the confession interview. I couldn’t believe that each and every preceptees—all three hundred and plus of us—were given the chance to confess our precept violations to a Dharma master in person.

現在簡要談談我對在家菩薩戒傳授的經驗。讓我印象深刻的一件事是懺摩。我無法相信每一位受戒者——我們二百多人——都能有機會親自向法師懺悔我們的戒律違犯。

The amount of patience, time, and commitment the Dharma Masters showed by listening to each and everyone’s confession was thoroughly poignant to say the least. To me this specific segment of the transmission coupled with the physical-in-person classes absolutely highlights the gravity of the Lay Bodhisattva Precepts Transmission. It categorically cements the significance of this transmission.

法師們聽取每個人的懺悔所展現出的耐心、時間和承諾，深深打動了我。對我來說，這一部分的傳授與面對面的課程結合，充分突顯了在家菩薩戒傳授的重要性，確立了這次傳授的意義。

Even though the confession alone does not eradicate the karmic retributions and penalties for violating the precepts, it allowed me to get the violations off my chest, figuratively speaking, and help lighten my conscience. In a way the confession allows me to start my lay bodhisattva precepts journey on a positive and somewhat clean slate. This opportunity to confess is absolutely invaluable. I am aware that my offenses have not been eradicated just from a mere confession. But now that I have officially signed up for the spiritual-purification boot camp, I hope to be well on my way to doing some serious work cleaning the attic of my house. Amituofo.

儘管僅僅懺悔並未消除犯戒的業報和懲罰，但它讓我能夠在比喻上把犯戒的事情從心裡拋開，從而減輕我的良心負擔。從某種程度上，這次懺悔使我能以一個積極和相對的全新狀態開始我的在家菩薩戒修行。這次懺悔的機會是無價的。我明白僅僅懺悔並不能完全消除我的過錯。但現在我已正式參加了精神淨化的訓練營，希望能認真清理我心中的雜念。阿彌陀佛！